Love n' Light...whatever.

You ever have one of those days where the world just seems to suck?

Is it a good idea to blog right now?  Probably not...but here goes...

A few months back, right when this seemingly never ending winter set in, I pulled back from social media, a hectic work schedule and a rushed life in general.  I nestled contentedly into home life for a while.  No gigs, no traveling, no Facebooking, no coffee dates.  Just me, my little family and my creativity and thoughts.  

During that time of quiet, there was much contemplation about where my spiritual journey was headed and what things would look like in 2014.  I felt change.  Big change.  Not just for me, but for many.  

I felt something stirring in the still of winter.  A low rumbling.  Discontent and an almost urgency to figure out what was coming next.  These rumblings of change kept getting louder as the months progressed and although I could not pinpoint what it meant exactly, it felt quite unsettling.  Something was happening.  A bigger shift was occurring.  The world was taking a leap in its conscious evolution, its own Awakening.  Something was different.

When I poked my nose out of hibernation, and jumped back into the world of social media.  Something HAD changed.  Many of the sites I'd been quietly observing had skyrocketed in 'Likes'.  The number of people participating in conversations had grown exponentially.  And people who I never thought were 'into' the ideas I was 'into' were speaking their own truth, and imagine my elation when they agreed with some of the thoughts I'd had myself.  I felt I'd been missing out on something amazing that had occurred in my quiet time!  Then, I realized something distressing.  Why had I been a quiet observer on those pages before?  What had I been afraid of?  What stopped me from commenting and participating?  Why all of the sudden, when others I knew were talking about this stuff, did I feel it was finally okay for me to do it too?

Uh oh.  Moment of hard reality.  

If you're not speaking your truth because you're waiting for someone else to do it first, who the hell have you become, Lisa?  That's not the girl I'd prided myself on being.  I've always been a trailblazer, an oddball thinker, a 'nutter' in my ideas.  Suddenly, I saw myself in a light I didn't really care for.  I'd become a conformer (gasp).  Someone worried about the opinions of others and swallowing down far too many thoughts, ideas and opinions because I was afraid I'd not be seen as a good "Lightworker".  I'd be seen as someone who was giving into fear based thinking, spreading too much negativity and was undeserving of calling themselves spiritual teacher.  Ugh.  UGH!

An interesting side affect of all this realization...waves of overwhelming shame and guilt.  

  

"Lisa, maintain your energy."  "Keep your focus on the highest energy, stay positive."  "Don't feed the fear."  "What you think about grows, be mindful of what you're creating."  "You know better than this!"  "Stay in the Light!"

You know what I'm talking about, right?  

All the things we tell ourselves as we walk this spiritual journey and we get stuck in old patterns.  

We are learning all these fabulous tips to heal.  To shift our thinking.  To create a new reality. So when some of the shadow thoughts present themselves, we kick ourselves a little for not doing better.  For getting wrapped up in 'old thinking'.  Anyone? 

I decided I had to make some changes.  And...I did.  I am mindful of how wrapped up I'd gotten in my 'persona' and how concerned I had become with the opinions of others.  I continue to grow each day, appreciative of all I'm learning and so grateful for the lessons I receive.  Own ALL facets of Lisa.  Not just the pretty, fluffy ones, but also the rough, darker aspects.  I strive daily to live a bit more authentically than I did the day before.  

And that rumbling of change?

I feel it.  And it's growing louder.  

So now what?!  The world is changing.  Systems are being challenged and falling.  Many are waking from the illusions.  They're questioning.  The people are demanding change.  Countries revolting.  And dammit, I'm an activist at heart!  I'm a truth-teller.  I'm a digger.  I'm a change-maker.  I'm a provocateur!

But...but...but...I'm a Lightworker!  Oh, the conundrum.  

I have always been resistant to the label Lightworker.  It sounds all light and fluffy, and I imagine I might be pictured floating a bit above the earth with butterflies fluttering around my silvery hair.  *insert choirs of angels singing here*  

Ahem.

YES, it's important to understand energy and frequency and to be mindful of what you're attracting.  

YES, the tools we've all acquired on the journey as Lightworkers are powerful, life-changing gifts.

YES, spreading the word on the importance of knowing you're in charge of your own energy is huge.

YES, living in dialogue with our guides, angels and God is a tremendous help as we walk this earth having our human experience.

Important stuff.  I'm deeply grateful for all I've learned.

But.

What about the call to service on other levels?  What about the truth-tellers, the activists, the protesters, the whistle-blowers?  Are they not bringing Light to the world as well?  Do they not deserve just as much credence if not *more* than the ones who are skipping merrily along focusing solely on the love n' light?

What happened to the balance?  Yin/Yang.  Light/Dark.  Masculine/Feminine.  

Can we really evolve as a human race if all we're doing is teaching Light Light Light and the darker shadowy stuff we feel we 'shouldn't' talk about keeps on happening while we look the other way?

I feel I must not be the only one who has struggled with some of these thoughts:  Dare I share something I'm very passionate about?  Will I look too pessimistic?  If I comment on this Facebook post, will it seem I'm always the naysayer or bringer of doom?  Will people think I've gone off the deep end if they know I believe this?  Will my credibility as a genuine spiritual being be questioned?

I want to bring Light to the world.  I will continue to bring Light.  But some random Tuesday it may come in the form of protesting for gender equality, on Thursday it may be by teaching Reiki, on Friday it may be a post on my page about religion, and on Sunday it may be by serving lunch at the mission.  But one thing I know for sure is that I'm done with the shame of it all.  

I suck at following rules.  I suck at listening to authority.  If someone in authority tells me something is a *truth*...I'm on it.  Nothing is truth.  It's what a majority of folks decided, but that does not make it true for everyone.  I suppose I'm an anarchist. (Oh!)    

I've never been able to understand why we blindly follow things we're told.  Without question.  Yes, we're indoctrinated from birth to follow authority.  They know best.  It's in our best interest to listen to the professionals.  But then we became free-thinking adults.  Free.  Thinking.  

Why not start questioning?

Because someone is in authority or a professional, perhaps we should ask what made them in authority or professionals in the first place?  Because they studied a specific curriculum?  Does that mean if a dentist is a professional in his field, he knows everything about teeth?  No.  He knows what he was taught.  In a formal, traditional western-schooled setting.  Not holistic.  Not eastern traditions.  Not energetic techniques.  He followed a set curriculum and can test on it, repeat it, and practice it verbatim.  But, it certainly does not mean he knows everything about teeth.  He practices his profession based on what he's been taught.  

That is all. 

Listen to your elected officials.  Why?  Because they told us it made us patriotic and good citizens.  Listen to the church of your upbringing.  Why?  Because they told us we'd go to hell if we didn't.  Listen to the politicians.  Why?  Because you have to be on one side or the other, and if you don't participate at all you must be ignorant.

Listen to the FDA, USDA, and the pharmaceutical companies.  Why?  Because they know what's best for us.

Listen to CNN, FOX, ABC, MSNBC.  Why?  Because they are your trusted news sources.

I.  Don't.  Get.  It.

We've been told for too long to go along and don't rock the boat.  A woman is a femiNAZI if she speaks of equality.  You are unAmerican if you protest war.  You are a socialist if you feel we should help the poor, sick and hungry.  You're a neglectful parent if you opt out of poison-filled vaccines.  You're shamed if you say you don't want to slice a piece of your son's penis off as a newborn.  Hide yourself if you breastfeed, it makes other uncomfortable.  If you ask for independent inquiries into government lies we've been fed, you're a crazy conspiracy theorist.  You're too sensitive if you think we should be mindful of racial slurs, developmental slurs or using groups of human beings as names of sports teams.  

It goes on and on.  Sit down and shut up.

On March 8th, just three days ago, it was International Women's Day.  You probably did not know this, because mainstream media had nothing about it.  I'm going to post a link and I invite you to read the article.  View the pictures.  Note the MANY countries around the world that had 1000's upon 1000's of women and men alike marching for women's issues/rights/awareness.  Did we see a thing in our country?  No.  When I saw the pics of cities all over the world with people coming together to create change, I thought, surely one of the corporate media giants would have at least something.  Not one thing.  The entire first page of Google was independent news sources.

See what set me off HERE

This pisses me off.  We are being spoon fed what they want us to see.  

Mainstream media is a joke.  Celebrity scandals and political division.  Pitting one against the other, all in an attempt to keep us hating the side we are not on.  

Divide and Distract.  It's working.
How about this...
Question things.  Question it all.  Yes, even Snopes.  Where is the money trail there?

When we finally stop blindly accepting what we're being fed, things will really move forward.

Do your research and see what you find for yourself.  

Hit the web.  

Find some great independent news sources and read what other global news outlets are saying.
Not one source, lots.  Discern.  Follow your gut. 

Finally, can we talk?  You share your ideas, I will share mine.  Let's stop worrying about what others might think.  What if when you share your thought, you've just given someone else the freedom to finally speak up and share the exact same thought they've been fearful of sharing.  Let the doubters talk.  Let the haters hate.  Let the naysayers nay.  Who cares.
Let's just talk.  The world needs dialogue in respectful, loving conversations.  To help the others come forward.  To grow the collective consciousness.  To change the world.  It's time.

Okay...rant done.  I need tea.